What Australia Really Cost

I went on my annual business retreat this weekend. I've been doing this for 10 years now and it's always an excellent use of a weekend.

One of the things I do is close out my books for the year so I'm ready for tax time. While I've got all those numbers in front of me, I also play around with analyzing different aspects of my business. Has it paid off to start working at a gym? What percentage of my money comes from the gym vs. my home practice? Is my practice growing? How much?

In light of those last 2 questions, I looked at the growth trend of my practice for the last 6 years (ah, the power of online bookkeeping!). What I learned is that my practice was on a steady path of growth and health....until I took a year off to move to Australia. And now I really am re-building from (virtually) scratch.

Specifically, between 2003 and 2010, just my private practice (I often also did outcalls, corporate massage, and teaching) had grown anywhere from 4% to 43% every year save one!

I hadn't completely realized that before and I did not truly grasp that truth when I agreed to close my practice and go to Australia. It was a painful truth to see in black and white in front of me. It hurt to contemplate where I'd be financially today if I hadn't closed my practice for a year.

On the other hand, I'm still glad we went to Brisbane for a year. It was a wonderful year and I would have regretted saying "no" more than I regret having to re-grow my practice.

But....yowza!

There Is No Crying In Massage! (oh, wait, yes there is)

I haven't posted much this month. I have some good reasons.

I was still recoving from surgery in December and my energy levels have only, in the last few days, really gotten back to something approaching "normal" for me.

Harder than that is that my sisters and I are having to find a new assisted living facility for our mom, some place that has speciality care for people with dementia. My mother's dementia has taken a significant downturn in the last year. If you have loved someone with dementia, you know how it empties you emotionally and spiritually.

I spent most of Thursday looking at facilities and talking with my sisters about the options (and the confusing financial picture). I got home just 30 minutes before a client. I was emotionally wrecked. During the intake, the client (who has seen me for years) asked how my mom was.

I started crying and I couldn't stop.

I'm am so profoundly grateful that this client knows me well and is a very compassionate person. She held me while I cried and then we talked about what was going on with my mom. She talked about coming up on the 2nd anniversary of her mother's death and how difficult that is for her.

In short, a lot of the "intake" had nothing to do with the massage session (which did eventually happen) but a whole lot to do with where we both were as adult women in our relationships to our moms.

If you're anything like me, you were taught in school to maintain a healthy professional boundary between your professional life and your personal life. You were taught that you should not be bringing your "stuff" to the table because that hour exists for the client. You may have even been cautioned about the challenges and potential pitfalls of becoming friends with your clients.

It's all true and it's all good advice and it's not exactly how it works in the real world. The simple fact is that the longer you work with someone, the more you will get to know them and the more they will get to know you. The simple fact is that there are clients you connect with at a more personal / deeper level than the rest of your clients. The simple fact is that some of your clients are the kinds of people you would absolutely be friends with if you met them outside your practice.

Our work is unusual. The relationships we form are not ordinary. Our ethical guidelines are built on years of experience of MTs who went before us doing things right and also making big whompin' mistakes. They make sense.

And sometimes we are going to go right past those ethical guidelines. You will be able to handle it better if you are well-grounded in those ethical guidelines. Even in the midst of my sobbing, a portion of my brain was noting the boundaries I was violating and conscious of the possible effects.

Why am I telling you all of this? Honestly, I'm not sure. But it feels important to say "this happens too and it's OK".

2013: Get More Massage!

Do you already receive massage at least once a month? Then you can ignore this post. Otherwise, here's the New Years Resolution I'm assigning to you (to save you the time of figuring it out for yourself; aren't I kind??):

Receive massage regularly in 2013.

There are so many compelling reasons for an MT to receive massage:

·       Never trust someone who won’t use their own product. If you aren’t getting massage regularly, your credibility as a proponent of massage is weak.

·       You need to have the visceral experience of being the vulnerable person on the table. It will make you more sympathetic to your client’s vulnerability.

·       You need to experience the way other MTs work. It keeps you fresh.

·       Your job is physically demanding and your body deserves the kind of care it gets with a good massage.

·       It’s a great way to meet the other MTs that work in your area.

·       It’s a great way to try different modalities (and when that is your motivation, it’s a business expense).

·       It’s a great way to check out the “competition”. If you bitch and moan about Massage Envy (or any other chain), go get a session there and see what works and what doesn’t so you can talk about it intelligently. And, again, if this is your intent, it’s a business deduction.

And here’s the kicker: you can not use any excuses for not getting massage that you hate to hear coming out of a (potential) client’s mouth.
 

·       “I can’t afford it (1).” Are the benefits of massage not worth the price MTs are asking? Then why are you asking people to pay for it?

·       “I can’t afford it (2).” Find a student clinic or someone offering reduced payment options or someone angling to be the “cheap” MT in town. Experience what it feels like to go that route.

·       “I can’t afford it (3).” What would you tell a client (what would you like to tell a client) who said this? Say those things to yourself.

·       “I can’t find anyone to exchange with.” Pay for it. Have the visceral experience of laying out your hard-earned money with a stranger (or even an acquaintance) in the hopes that you’ll receive something worthwhile in return. Your sympathy for you clients will skyrocket. Sometimes, you’ll have the visceral experience of not getting your money’s worth. That will make you much more conscious of giving your clients their money’s worth. It will also put you in the position of trying to figure out how to communicate that both during and after the session; since we all say we want feedback from our clients it’s good to experience how hard that is to do.

·       “I don’t have time.” Then take a hard hard look at your time obligations and move one at least once a month. If you don’t have time because you have such a busy client load, then you especially need to take 2 hours at least once a month to go get a massage. It’s called “self-care”.

·       “I’m really not comfortable receiving work.” Yes, I’ve known MTs like this. Far too often, they’ve been people who need other people to need them or are completely unwilling to accept the vulnerability of being a client. I don’t want you to need me to be vulnerable to feed your psyche. That’s creepy. And if you aren’t willing to also be vulnerable sometimes, then don’t ask me to be either. That’s a power imbalance thing and I don’t want to play.

Now, having said all these things, I realize that there are a few – very few – people who really really really cannot receive massage on a regular basis. Most of you reading this are not that person.

If, after careful consideration, you realize that you are legitimately one of those people, I’m very sorry. I don’t mean to be someone piling on your difficulties. May 2013 offer you the chance to receive massage. You deserve it most of all.

True confessions: I only received massage every 2 or 3 months last year. I need to step up my own game as well.

Now, get to your phone / email and book that massage!