Isn't Once Enough?

Imagine.....

You have a new neighbor. They invite you over for a cook-out. They ask if there's anything you won't/can't eat. You don't want to be a bother so you don't mention how much you hate tomatoes.

You arrive for the cook-out. You see that there's a large platter of lovely fresh-from-the garden....sliced tomatoes. Clearly, they are your neighbor's pride and joy and they can't wait to see the look of delight on your face when you taste one. Do you say anything?

Imagine.....

You need a shed. Your cousin is a carpenter, you aren't. He offers to build your shed. You're watching him work and you're not sure he's laying down the foundation correctly or to the specs you gave him. But, again, he's a carpenter and you aren't. Do you say anything?

Imagine.....

You've got a 4-week old baby at home. You're exhausted. Your mother-in-law comes over to help. She offers to feed and bathe the baby while you get a desperately needed nap. You notice she's not bathing the baby the way you like it done, though it's not technically "wrong". You are soooooo tired. Do you say anything?

Imagine......

You've been having problems with your low back for a long time and have finally gone to see a physical therapist. You're a little embarrassed about your weight and general fitness level. You fear the PT is going to blame all your back pain on your weight and exercise routine.

The PT has you do a set of exercises. Some of them are difficult for you and kind of painful. But you sure don't want to seem like a whiner or a weakling. Do you say anything?

Imagine......

You've had a long hard month. Your shoulders are one big knot. You're also emotionally drained -- you learned your baby brother has testicular cancer. Your whole family is in shock. They expect you to take the lead on finding out what kind of help he needs and getting them all scheduled to provide that help (because you're good at that sort of thing). You need your shoulders un-knotted but you also desperately need a quiet space where you can let go of your worries and anxiety and responsibilities.

You're trying a new massage therapist. As he begins, he mentions that you should let him know if it hurts. He starts working on your back and -- holy cow! -- does it hurt! But he's the professional and you're not. Those shoulders probably need to be worked that hard to get them un-knotted, right? Plus, you really just want to let go and let someone else be in charge for an hour. Do you say anything?


There are a host of situations in life where we are invited to speak up when we don't like something. And there are a host of situations where we don't speak up. Maybe because we don't want to be inhospitable, or challenge a professional, or question someone's competency. Or maybe we perceive speaking up as "conflict" and we hate conflict. Or maybe we're shy. Heck, maybe we're just tired.

All of those things happen on our massage tables too. Yet we blithely expect the client to chime in if something doesn't feel good. After all, we uttered the magic sentence "please let me know if anything hurts".

I think we're naïve to expect that to work. We are not taking into consideration all the forces that keep people from speaking up. When they don't speak up, it doesn't mean they have a "problem" it just means they are like a lot of people, cautious to speak up and risk insulting or angering someone.

YET we can't always tell how our work feels in their body. We really do need their feedback. What are we supposed to do??

I think the key is not relying on the One Sentence.

I think our intakes need to be more like a conversation, not simply a quick set of rote questions.

I think we need to talk about what we mean by "pain" (and, please, no more 'on a scale of 1-10').

I think we need to work to establish the kind of rapport that helps them hear us when we say we need them.

I think we need to pay attention to the little signs of distress, like clinched hands or fluttering toes, rather than just focusing on that locked up trapezius.

I think we need to be the ones on the table with a stranger more often! We need to re-experience what that's like.

I think we need to ask how our work feels on the inside, not just say "does that hurt?" or "is that too much?"

 How do we do that? I'll answer that question in tomorrow's blog.

Doesn't Anybody Stay Around Any More?

Got a new client yesterday. He explained that he was in the market for an MT because his old MT had moved out of the area. He said he understood that happens a lot. We're so transient. After all, we have to follow our boyfriends/partners wherever they need to go for their career.

Ahem.

My feminist hackles rose and I was about to say something ... until I remembered that I closed my practice from 2010 - 2011 so my husband and I could live in Australia for a year, compliments of his job.

Ahem.

We are a transient bunch, aren't we? The "mobility" of our profession can be part of the draw. After all, we "can work anywhere".

Another aspect of this is that some MTs panic if a setting (gym, spa, group practice, etc.) isn't keeping their schedule full. We jump to another setting where it looks like we'll have a fuller schedule.

Here's some little factoids about our transient nature, based on my experience in (ahem) a lot of different settings in the last 13 years.

You lose clients every time you move. At least one, if not more. Maybe the new location isn't as convenient. Maybe they don't do change well. Maybe they were weren't all that attached to you and this is a chance to step away or try someone new. A new location has to bring new clients into your practice or you'll have a net loss of work.

You may need to re-apply for a license. Sure, you can "work anywhere" but lots of states do not simply let you transfer in from another state. You may need to go back to school if the new state has different educational requirements. You may need to get a NCBTMB certification again. You may have to take a certification exam again. No two states have the same regs.

You may have to start all over from scratch. If you shut your practice down for more than about 6 months, even if you've been in practice for years and years, clients won't wait forever. Particularly if you've done a really good job of making massage therapy an important part of their lives! (Ironic, isn't it?)

You will have to start all over from scratch. If you move to a completely new city/state/country, you've got to start all over from zero. It takes 2-5 years to build a sustaining private practice.

It can take up to six months to be fully integrated into an existing practice. If a new setting doesn't have a full schedule for you in the first month, don't be surprised.  It takes a while for clients to get a chance to work with you, especially if they were very devoted to someone else who left. Lots of people don't do change well. Patience, grasshopper, patience.

Even as an independent contractor you need to market yourself. If want your schedule to be more full get busy with your own marketing. Got your own business card? How about a website? Listed on "find a therapist" sites like AMTA and ABMP maintain? How about Yelp? Do you volunteer (strategically) in your community? Have you spent time figuring out the kind of client you'd like to attract? The price of your independence (as a contractor) is that you have some of the responsibility for attracting your own clients!

Yes, I get the irony of a website called "Have Hands, Will Travel" warning you about the challenges of pulling up stakes (even locally). In this case, it just means I really know what I'm talking about!

Do Business Owners Take Vacations?

If you're a business owner, do you take vacations?

Yes and no.

I'm in Key West this week (and, yes, it's as lovely as you think it is!). It's a much needed vacation after 3 months of surgery recovery, Mom-relocation, and frenzied class preparation (which I taught last weekend in Orlando and it went great!). I need this vacation.

But I'm also online daily checking to see if anyone wants to schedule a massage next week (really need to get that online scheduling set up!).

I also started accepting credit cards last week so I've been checking my bank account daily to see how long it really takes the payments to get in there, when the fees show up, what they are, etc. Last Thursday's payments hadn't shown up and they should have.

So I spent about 30 minutes working with Intuit to figure out what was wrong. They were very helpful and we figured out, um, it was my fault. I'd run those two transactions incorrectly.

Then it was on to email to contact both clients. Would they let me call them and run the transactions again online? They graciously said yes so I also made two phone calls this morning to (successfully) re-run those transactions.

I've also had a chance to swim laps (yes, that's me swimming laps in the hotel pool) and we're about to get on a tour bus and we plan to see Hemingway's house this afternoon.

So, yes, I'm on vacation (and enjoying it). But, no, I don't ever leave my business entirely behind.

But Is It Juicy?

While I was in Australia, I met a fascinating woman, Ingrid Arna. She helps people "lose weight, attract love, create miracles and get deliciously happy". As you can imagine, she is a lively enthusiastic woman.

She posted something on her FB page last year that really struck me; so much so that I printed it out and taped it to my desk:

Practice doing less, focusing on what you want and choosing relationships and business partnership that are joyous, easy, rich, electric and love based = pure affluence and juicy energy that creates miracles, that builds fortunes and most importantly makes us feel incredibly alive, supported and healthy.

The idea of "juicy" energy intrigues me. The idea that business partnerships should be "joyous, easy, rich, electric and love based" gives me a thrill. When was the last time you heard that kind of business advice?

At my annual business retreat in January, I decided I wanted to raise the visibility of my home-based practice, focusing on people within 4 miles of my home. One of the ways I've chosen to do that is to volunteer with organizations I like, providing seated massage to help them with their fundraising.

I made a list of organizations and have, over the last 3 months, settled on two of them. Why those two? Because they feel "juicy". They are "joyous, easy, rich, electric, and love based".

They don't necessarily expose me to the greatest number of people but they put in settings where I enjoy the work and believe in the mission. I do my best massage when I'm happy and inspired. Happy inspired massage is what we all want to receive. These people are seeing me at my best, which is the right way to market my practice.

This past Saturday I did seated massage for the DC Rollergirls, the local women's flat-track roller derby. They are actively raising money to rent their own warehouse space in which to practice.

The event was loud, over-stimulating, and a bit overwhelming. I raised $100 for their warehouse fund and I loved it! Love the crowd, love the enthusiasm, love the racing. It was simply fun (even though this introvert had to spend the rest of the evening gazing numbly at the TV to recover).

I met some great people. Not many people knew I was going to be there but lots of people noticed me. I suspect the next time I go I'll get even more people on the chair. Handed out some business cards (I'm only 6 blocks away). I can't wait to go back.

Because it was juicy and that feels like the right way and the right place to be.

Be bold. Don't just look for business partnerships that are potentially profitable. Look for partnerships that make you feel alive, excited, and (yes) juicy.