Monday, February 28, 2011

What Color Is Your Collar?

A few years ago I found myself engaged in an interesting conversation with a friend about my socio-economic status as a massage therapist. I used to work in the computer industry, as he still does.

Those are clearly "white collar" jobs. They happen in offices, often require university-level education, are usually paid by salary, and require virtually no manual dexterity. :)

I said something about having moved into the "blue collar" world when I became a massage therapist. He immediately jumped to my defense. My work required additional education and used my brain! Don't think of yourself as blue-collar!

What are the traits we normally associate with blue-collar work? Getting paid by the hour, working with your hands, if post-secondary education is required it's usually acquired through a trade school rather than a university, may require licensing, more likely to be self-employed, etc.

Sounds like massage therapy to me!

The truth is that no matter what we say publically, the blue-collared worker is looked down upon. The irony is that it's the blue-collar/skilled labor jobs that are probably the safest. They can't be outsourced to China, India, Indonesia, etc. You can't outsource your stuck toilet to a cheaper plumber overseas. You can't get a good massage via the internet no matter how good your connection is.

I heard a great interview with on Mike Rose on Public Radio's "On Being", hosted by Krista Tippett, about the meaning of intelligence. He talked about our assumptions and underlying beliefs about work, education, pay, value, and worth. He talked about how it came about, where it's likely to take us, and what changes we should seriously consider. He also talked about how it's shaped us a democracy and culture.

I found the interview fascinating and enlightening, especially in light of my conversation with my "white collar" friend. I am, by virtually all definitions, now a blue-collar worker. I have no shame or discomfort around that. Part of my belief system is that any job, done honestly in support of family and home, is a good job. One of my grandmothers took in washing. Another worked as a school cook. Blue collar is not so far back in my family tree.

Do you care if you're considered blue-collar or white-collar? Does it matter?

Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Six Marks of An E-Mail Scam

I got my first e-mail scam as a massage therapist probably 9 years ago. It wasn't the last. The surprising thing is that I'm still getting variations on the same scam, all these years later! It must be working somewhere because I always thought scammers has more imagination than that.

Recently, the following e-mail was received by an MT in DC. Her Spidey-sense must have been working that day because she posted it on the AMTA DC listserve and asked for feedback. Here's the original e-mail:


To: [your name here]

Hello I am Pastor Jeremiah Williams of Christ Winners Ministry (CWM) after years of pastoring, we are slowly growing. I am focused and sticking to the vision God has given me, and humbly seeking and walking in His will and purpose. My desire is to be able to move in building more Churches soon but I am waiting on the go ahead from our Father. This has definitely been a year of revelation. However, I am appealing I have a member of my church who is suffering from partial stroke and complications of hypertension although she is from a wealthy family. After my careful search of the best and experienced healing Therapist in the U.S who will take care of her for proper massage to get her back to normal condition. Please I would like to know if you can be of help by becoming her Therapist and also to advice her best rehab hospital in the United States for proper medications. we will start travelling arrangements as soon as we hear from you. I shall be pleased to have your private phone number as to enable us discuss in the best way forward to handle her situation. May the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you always Pastor Jeremiah Williams

Submitter details:
Name: Jeremiah Williams
Email: pastor.jeremiahwilliams@yahoo.com
Phone: +233245003449


Let's use this classic scam e-mail to identify the 6 Tips For Recognizing E-Mail Scams (free to you as a loyal reader of this blog!).


...after years of pastoring, we are slowly growing. I am focused and sticking to the vision God has given me, and humbly seeking and walking in His will and purpose. My desire is to be able to move in building more Churches soon but I am waiting on the go ahead from our Father. This has definitely been a year of revelation.


This is not the way a normal e-mail asking about massage services starts. This scammer is starting with an emotional appeal. They are trying to get a personal sort of "hook" into you, as the reader, by appealing to the goodwill (or guilt) often associated with churches, religion, and pastors.

Think about it.....how many e-mail have you gotten from legitimate potential clients that start with a rambling personal introduction like this? Probably very few.


...I am appealing I have a member of my church who is suffering from partial stroke and complications of hypertension...

Double whammy here: the scammer is playing on an MTs inherent sympathies with the phrases "suffering", "complications", and then mentioning two common ailments.

Think about it though -- how often does someone who's suffered a stroke and hypertension think of massage as the response? That's not ordinary.


...although she is from a wealthy family....


This is the A#1 fer-shur mark of a scam -- the allusion to wealth, directly or indirectly. The scammer is trying to subtly tap into our greed. The scammer wants us to think "ooooooooh, I can make a LOT of money from this person!". If it's not the allusion to the wealth of the client, it's offering to fill your schedule for a week or 3 with an out of town dance troupe/sports team/tour group/conference attendees/etc.

Why? The scammer wants you to have dollar signs floating in your eyes. The chance to make above-average money will make many MTs forego their normal policies, including policies around payments, scheduling, healthy boundaries, etc.

(Side note: Interesting choice of language. "Although"...because wealthy people don't normally suffer from mundane things like strokes and high blood pressure?)


After my careful search of the best and experienced healing Therapist in the U.S who will take care of her for proper massage to get her back to normal condition. Please I would like to know if you can be of help by becoming her Therapist and also to advice her best rehab hospital in the United States for proper medications.


Blatant appeal to your vanity. They want you to let down your guard (as you preen your feathers in response to the flattery.)

Again, think about it...even when a potential client has heard rave reviews about you, do they use this kind of language in an initial e-mail requesting a massage with you? Probably not.

Another "tell" is the uneven-ness of the English (including irregular use of capitalization). Yes, there are many people in the DC area for whom English is a 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) language and who don't write English as smoothly as a native English speaker. But I have yet to receive a scam e-mail that was written in normal English.


...we will start travelling arrangements as soon as we hear from you. I shall be pleased to have your private phone number as to enable us discuss in the best way forward to handle her situation....


A sense of urgency. "...as soon as we hear from you...." The scammer is trying to get you to react to the e-mail before you have time to ponder it, think on it, or talk to anyone about it. Reacting without considering always leaves us vulnerable.

As a sneaky little add-on, there's the test as to whether they've hooked you or not: the request for your private phone number. Not your business number, your private number. This is simply a test to see if you are willing to violate your own policies and procedures, your own boundaries.


Email: pastor.jeremiahwilliams@yahoo.com
Phone: +233245003449


Finally, the contact info. In this case, the scammer is using a normal e-mail. Many of the scams I've gotten have had e-mail addresses that were just a little bit odd or were clearly from outside the US.

The "+" in front of the phone number means this is an international phone number (and remember, the "pastor" never told us where he was writing from). You can look up international dialing codes at any of these sites:

Wikipedia
Wikipedia Travel
Country Code.org


This phone number is for Ghana. Lately, I've been getting more scams from African countries. Of course, the "Nigerian prince" scam is an oldie but goodie in internet scams, so maybe that shouldn't surprise me.

I'm not saying you wouldn't get a legitimate e-mail from someone in Africa. Just know that a lot of scams are originating in Africa. The one I got last week had a phone number in South Africa.

In summary, the more of these "tell-tails" that an e-mail contains, the more cautious you should be. These can also be found in legitimate e-mails but the more of these you have in one e-mail, the more likely you are looking at a scam:


  • Emotional-trigger phrases (like church, God, pain, abuse, suffering, etc.)

  • Greed appeal (directly or indirectly) or appeal to the potential for making an unusual amount of money, including any allusions to the wealth of the potential client

  • Excessive flattery or flattery out of line with what they can actually know about your skills

  • Urgency. They're coming next week! They're ready to get on a plane now! They need treatment immediately if not sooner!

  • Boundary/policies violation request. It will usually be something small and otherwise kinda insignificant, so you feel bad for saying "no".

  • Non-US source, especially if it is from Africa.



The very best piece of advice I can give you is this: listen to that little teeny tiny voice in your head that says "this just doesn't feel right". It's correct 99.5% of the time. (That other .5%? Hey, even our intuition has an off day but I'll put my money on my intuition even at the risk of missing that .5%.)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Subversive Thoughts on Self-Care

I've learned some things about basic Kelly Self-Care from the last 6 months here:

  • I really thrive on a couple of long walks (1-3 hours) a week.

  • I like to take care of administrivia in the morning and creative work in the afternoon.

  • Ideally, I do the hard-core creative work 3 (no more than 4) days a week.

  • I love not having to set an alarm clock. I like to go to bed between 10 and 11 pm and wake up on my own between 7 am and 8 am.

  • I'm done with my work "energies" between 6 pm and 7 pm at night.

Right now, I can mostly organize my days this way. I try to imagine applying these same learned "rules" to my life when I return to DC....and I run into a brick wall of resistance.

"But what about work?!?"
"What about making money?!?"
"You can't make enough money only seeing clients 3 afternoons a week!!"
"What about your clients who need to see you in the morning?!?"

And then I get panicky and/or depressed. It feels like I can choose to be economically viable or I can take care of myself but I can't do both.

While walking to the bus stop yesterday, a thought came un-bidden into my mind:

Can you trust?
Can you choose to believe that it is possible to both take care of yourself and feed yourself?
Can you operate "as if" it is true? Go ahead and set up your schedule and just...let things happen?
Because you know that's usually what it takes to make something new happen.....




And the answer is "hmmmmmm........".

(See what happens when you take a sabbatical? Subversive thoughts start taking over your mind!)