A whole new woo-woo thing: the Saturn Bubbler

Right after I arrived in Brisbane I was directed to The Lightworkers Cottage. Originally, I went for the massage (still excellent!) but the are also an energy healing center as well, so it was bonus: a place to get my woo-woo on. :)

They've recently rented a workshop space and are doing "opening" kind of events. Last week, it was the installation of a Saturn Bubbler. The group doing the installation is called the Hermes Far Eastern Shining, based in Australia.

For those of you not in the know (like me), it's a construction of tubes and balls of water that has been invested/aligned/energized to a specific purpose -- providing healing energy to a specific geography. In this case, it's mission is to help heal the state of Queensland (no small feat since Queensland is the size of Alaska). As part of the installation, they actually inserted a map of Queensland into the structure.

The installation ceremony was engaging and audience-participatory. As each ball was added to the structure, one of the attendees was invited to hold the ball before the group as its purpose and design was explained. I was chosen for one.

It's a beautiful structure and it was a powerful experience to be part of a large group sharing such as this (there were 40 or so people present for this). All participants, including small children, were engaged in the energetics of the event and the room had quite the buzz to it. I spoke to one of the organizers and she said they'd had a lead on installing one in DC a year or two ago but it didn't happen. Heaven knows DC could use a little healing energy! :)

Part way through the ceremony, with 3 of the balls installed.

One member of the installation group explaining the structure. They all had names like Clover and Peaches. I didn't ask...

Peaches getting ready to hand one of the balls to an audience member to install.

Nicholas (my massage therapist) holding one of the balls just before he places it in the structure.

You are encouraged to hold a glass of water over the structure to energize the water before you drink it as a way of taking in the energy of the installation.

Show Me The Money

A former student, Sandi Kissane (of Norman OK), just announced a new fee structure for her massage practice. I'll let her explain it:

I've been considering alternative fee structures with the primary goal of making massage therapy more affordable to more people. Most people recognize the many health benefits of massage therapy but most also acknowledge that the current market value of a one-hour massage (60.00 or more) is cost prohibitive and does not allow them to utilize massage on a regular basis. Massage is often relegated to a luxury item that rarely makes it into the budget.

So here, I am introducing my new fee schedule which I think you'll find very simple and affordable. Fees are based solely on what you decide best fits into your budget. There is no tipping although if you decide you would like to tip, I'd prefer a donation to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society in lieu of (find their link on my Links page).

60 minute massage -- 30$ minimum/50$maximum
90 minute massage -- 45$minimum/50$maximum
Hot Stones may be added for 10$ more

That's it...simple and straightforward pricing!

Sessions are by appointment so call for availability.

Rest assured, you will receive the best massage I offer, each and every time regardless of your fee!

Sandi says she's been getting some flack/teasing from other MTs in her area about this announcement. I did too, when I announced my Pay What You Can pay structure.

Many of us struggle to accept ourselves as business people and to be comfortable asking for what our work is worth. Because we struggle, we often have a very strong connection in our head between what we're paid and how seriously we're taken.

Becoming a business person -- and setting our fee schedules -- turns out to be a very personal journey. What we do reflects the nuances of our professional identity deep within ourselves. When we are working on taking ourselves seriously financially, it's incredibly important to set a market-value price and stand behind it.

Not everyone is in that same place. I've got other challenges in my self-understanding as a business person so I can offer a Pay What You Can fee schedule. Sandi can offer a minimum/maximum fee schedule.

Should we all offer a variable fee schedule? No. Each of our businesses are different, even if they look the same to the outside observer. What is important is that you be honest with yourself about what you need from your business, what your challenges are, and how your business policies and fees can reflect that.

I hope the massage-consuming public in Norman OK understands this and gets a chance to experience Sandi's work and generosity.

The Ultimate Narcissism?

It occurs to me that writing a book is, at its core, a supreme act of narcissism.

Here I sit, nobody in particular, devoting time and energy to creating something that's all about...me. My ideas, my philosophies, my experiences, my observations.

Then I'm going to put it out there in the world -- in print and electronically -- and tell you that you should give me some money for it. That my ideas, philosophies, experiences, and observations are going to be so valuable to you that you'll be happy to give me money for it.

Doesn't that sound like narcissism?

It's what all writing is, fiction and non-fiction. It's a quest fueled from deep within by a drive to share the stuff that floats around in writers head. Some of it is self-defense (I have got to get this stuff out of my head!) and some of it is supreme self-confidence (and it's so valuable that you'll be glad I did!).

I started writing stories when I was a kid. I got my BA in journalism. I spent 20 years as a technical writer and I still write newsletters and this blog. I can't stop myself!

Apparently my writerly narcissism is too well-established to ever be able to break free. :)

"I was fighting with myself in my head"

I've mentioned my cleaning lady, Kelli, before. She and I regularly have interesting conversations about running a small service-oriented business.

The last time I saw her, she was pretty agitated. The January floods have done a job on her business. She has both corporate and home clients. A lot of her home clients dropped her as they focused on repairs. The corporate clients have been in transition as well, facing mergers and new management that focuses strictly on the cheapest option, without taking quality of work into account.

She has other women working for her and worries about keeping them employed. She needs to re-coup the lost clients. She wants to move her business "up" a level but that means asking for more money (and being comfortable with that in her gut) and "buffing up" her image. She's thinking of adding a new revenue stream by purchasing a some property management contracts.

Sound familiar? Maybe not literally but if you've been in practice long enough, these are the kinds of questions and worries we often face.

The last time she was here, we talked about the process of making all these decisions. She, like many of us, frequently finds herself in conflict with herself. Her head says one thing and her intuition says another.

My advice? Never ever ignore your intuition. Your brain/mind only knows facts and data. Your intuition, your gut knows you. In the end, as small (micro) business owners, we have to be at peace with our choices. They have to work for us because we're frequently all there really is. We're staff and product!

When you think back on the major decisions you've made in your life, have you ever chosen your "head" over your "gut"? How did it turn out?

I'll find out how it's working for her when I see her later this week.

MT Dreaming (continued)....

Today, I fantasize about being part of a multi-speciality practice. It would be in a space with 4 or 5 practice rooms plus (my fantasy) room for meetings and workshops.

We'd pool our resources to pay for an office manager who also managed the front desk.

We'd have massage therapists, acupuncturists, maybe an herbalist or wholistic nutritionist, a wholistic psychotherapist, a yoga teacher, maybe a chiropractor.

We'd mentor new grads in each of our specialities, providing 1-year internships.

We'd not only rent the space to people who needed a place for their workshops, we'd actively sponsor speakers and workshops, bringing people in from outside the region, maybe even outside the country.

The practitioners would meet on a regular basis to talk about clients and identify areas for cross-over treatment.

And as long as I'm fantasizing....it would have off-street parking and be metro-accessible!

Being Taken Advantage Of?

When I moved to Brisbane (returning to the US in August!), I developed a referral list for my clients. Last week, one of my regular clients dropped me a note and told me her company was closing. One of my reactions was "damn! This is why I have the Pay What You Can model! So in times like these, she could continue to receive massage! Now I'm not there to do that for her!".

But then I read further in her e-mail and she mentioned that the MT she's seeing (the one I recommended) had offered to cut her fees for her while she was unemployed. Suprisingly, I felt like that therapist -- Gaynor Bourgeoise, God bless you -- had done me a personal favor. I was so touched that she was doing what I would do and she was taking care of my client so well.

(I still get a little weepy thinking about it.)

People come to us for all of the obvious reasons -- pain relief, stress relief, energetic jam-up relief, etc. -- but underneath every single massage is a simple desire to be taken care of.

All humans sometimes need someone to take care of them. It's one of the sweetest parts of our jobs, taking care of people even if only for an hour.

When someone experiences financial setbacks -- like unemployment -- we are handed an opportunity to respond to their needs specifically. Maybe we offer financial relief, maybe we don't. They're both reasonable choices given the specifics of our practices, our policies, and our relationships with our clients (and with nods to Connie Ridgeway, with ethical repercussions as well).

What I've noticed is that when MTs consider setting discount policies (sliding scale, Pay What You Can, donation, etc.) there is often a fear of being "taken advantage of". That is, someone who doesn't really need to reduced rate will use it or will keep using it long after they really need it. We're often so very very afraid of that happening that we don't offer any leeway.

I've been reflecting on that (in response to Gaynor's generosity) and a few things occur to me.

We may get hurt. Our relationships with our clients are (professionally-well-bounded) intimate. They give themselves to us but we also give ourselves to them. When we offer them financial breaks, we are trusting them. If they take advantage of that inappropriately, we're likely to take it personally.

Of course! And it hurts. And no one likes being hurt. All true. And I can go on to tell you all about how intimacy requires vulnerability and that being vulnerability allows us to grow spiritually, yada yada yada but, yeah, it's gonna hurt.

Can we handle it?

Do we trust our instincts? Some of us seem to be afraid that we won't recognize when someone is taking advantage of us; therefore we will be getting robbed without realizing it.

In my experience, though, if we get in the practice of tuning into our intuition and taking it seriously, we will know when we're being taken advantage of.

Can we recover from it? If we're taken advantage of, we fear it will destroy us financially. We'll lose our homes, our businesses, our lives as we know it (and probably have to live out of a grocery cart under the 14th St. Bridge....). The odds are that even if one person takes advantage of us, we are unlikely to lose our metaphorical shirts. In my practice, the worst case scenario is that I'll lose a few hundred dollars. I will notice losing that much money (and it will hurt) but it won't destroy me.

We can't say "no" / we can't confront / we can't be "not nice". I suspect this is the bigger barrier for most of us. When we suspect someone is taking advantage of us, we have to stand up for ourselves. We have to speak up and we have to be in conflict with someone. A whole lot of us would rather chew off our left foot than "do" confrontation.

Conflict is an unavoidable part of being alive and being in relationship with anyone. Anyone. It's not possible to have a close relationship that is so perfectly harmonious that you'll never have a conflict. Sometimes the other person will be the source of the conflict, sometimes you will.

You can run and hide from conflict, expending absurd amounts of energy avoiding it (and I know lots of people who do) but that's not a grown-up thing to do.

In addition to being loving, caring, compassionate caregivers we are also business owners and adults. It's crucial to learn how to look a client in the eye and say "no". Doing that helps us maintain all our sane ethical boundaries and we also need to be able to do it when we're being taken advantage of.

How many of our clients would be further ahead if, in addition to allowing us to take care of them, they learned to take care of themselves? As massage therapists and business owners, we have to be able to take care of ourselves as well. There are simply going to be days when "taking care of ourselves" means looking a client in the eye and saying "no". Saying "stop". Saying "I can't do that for you any more."

How do we avoid being taken advantage of? Well, literally, we can't. There's always going to be somebody who can get at us. But if we confront our fears, learn to trust ourselves, and get good at standing up for ourselves, we really reduce the the chances of it happening.