The Conversation No One Wants To Have

If you're a massage therapist, sooner or later you're going to get THAT client -- the one who has misguided ideas about what massage is and what kind of "services" they can get from you. It's usually not grotesque or dramatically overt (though it can be). It's often just a series of comments or body positions that lets you know your client is thinking entirely Wrong Thoughts.

I got that client 2 weeks ago. Twice.

The first time I thought "hmmmmm......his requests and actions are just shy of being inappropriate, I won't say anything." When he did and said the exact same thing during his second appointment I thought "oh, crap, I'm going to have to deal with this."

Step 1:  Describe the session to another female therapist who works there. Get her feedback on it as a peer. About 20 seconds into my description she says "I think I know who you're talking about. He did exactly the same thing with me." OK, it's not just me!

Step 2: Talk to the manager about the situation, documenting the experience, my conversation with the other MT, and my intended response. Ask if the manager has any insights, objections, or suggestions. She says "always trust your gut! If your gut says he's having Wrong Thoughts, then you're right, he is." That's a good manager.

She volunteers to talk to the client for me but, really, this is my job. (Plus, I don't want it to dissolve into he said / she said).

Step 3: is not "call the client". It's "plan what I'm going to say to the client" because there are so many things I could say, need to say, need to avoid saying, need to make sure I'm clear on, etc. I also need to decide exactly what will happen in future sessions and what will happen if he does any of this again. And figure out how to say it calmly and professionally.

Step 4a:  Stare at the phone for a loooooooong time, wishing I didn't have to make this call.

Step 4b:  Sigh deeply and call the client. Follow script. Be very pleasantly surprised when he doesn't argue, protest, break down in tears (admittedly, a long shot), fling counter-accusations, or call me nasty names. He sounds surprised by my objections but agrees to abide by the rules.

Step 5: Drop head on desk in pure relief that it's over. Go home and accept back rubs and snuggles from sympathetic husband.

It sucks but it's something most of us are going to have to do sooner or later if we stay in the biz long enough. Thank you PMTI for an education (and continuing education) that made it possible for me to recognize trouble when it happened and to be able to deal with it as a professional.