RIP John

Last Tuesday found me in an ICU in central Louisiana, sitting next to a friend as he breathed his last. In 3-1/2 weeks he had gone from "what do you mean I'm riddled with cancer?" to the end of this earthly existence.

As you can imagine, it took everyone in his life by shock and was a whirlwind of grief, panic, and confusion. I am grateful I was able to be by his side when he died.

John was more than a friend -- and he was a great friend of almost 30 years -- he was also a key member of my informal "board of directors". I can't possibly know everything I need to know to run my business but when I look around at my friends and colleagues, I realize I have access to a great depth of professional experience.

John for business and financial advice
Adriana for marketing advice
Margo for taxes, taxes, taxes!
My husband Jeff for a reality-check
Kitty for imagination (and also reality check)
Rich and Lizzie for editorial help
Clare for building quality adult education

There are more.

John, a retired accountant and investment manager 14 years my senior, was particularly important for helping me develop my business, bite-sized courses. A primary focus of those is "translating" business concepts to language that makes them more accessible (and useful) to massage therapists.  I often ran things past John just to make sure that in the process of "translation" I hadn't left solid business truths behind.

When I first talked to him about my very different approach to business plans, he huffed and puffed a bit ("that's not the way one talks about business plans!") (he was also English so saying "the way one talks" just sounded so much cuter coming from him).

But then he stopped, really thought about what I was saying, critically examined whether I was saying anything wrong and, God bless him, asked me good questions about massage therapists so he could understand why I felt the need to re-cast the traditional business plan.

And then gave me invaluable feedback on what worked, where I could get more info, and where I was perfectly right to present things in a non-traditional way. And a lot of encouragement to keep doing what I do.

We all need people to advise us on the things we aren't so knowledgeable about. It's OK (possibly even wise) to admit -- out loud -- what you don't know and ask for help. Sometimes, you need to pay a professional. Sometimes you can find support among your existing circle of friends and family (as long as you don't abuse it!).

I will miss John keenly for a long time as a great friend and fellow trouble-maker in the 4th pew on Sunday morning. I will also miss the wise advisor who encouraged me and supported me in ways I needed.

RIP John. I hope the angels sang you home.