1. Like many people, I spent a lot of time watching the Olympics earlier this month. My favorite was women's beach volleyball (though don't get me started on the absurdity of their “uniforms”). I loved to watch Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings play together. What I noticed was that they weren't just awesome volleyball players, they were an awesome team.
Their ball-handling skills are world-class (obviously). What I noticed, though, is that they spent as much energy paying attention to each other as they did to the ball. Where does she need me to put the ball? Can she get to it? Can she put it over? Am I where she needs me to be? There was a palpable feel (even 5 time zones away) of connection between them.
When interviewed, they spoke often of their bond and admitted they'd even gone to couples counseling together (though both are married to other people) between Olympics. And that it had helped!
2. In my other job – as co-owner and CEO of The Healing Core (a continuing ed company) – I have a partner, Kitty Southworth. And I flat-out could not do what we need me to do without her. She's often convinced that the company is 90% me and maybe 10% her (we jokingly refer to her as the 'eye candy' of our organization) but it truly is a partnership. Neither one of us could do this by ourselves. We don't have the full skill set, we don't have the energy or the motivation to go it solo, we don't have access to the same resources, and we don't have enough imagination.
Mostly what we don't have alone is encouragement and another point of view. That has been so valuable in the last year I can hardly tell you.
And we've been to couples counseling too. And it made a difference.
3. I had dinner with a girlfriend last week. She's another one-woman shop, coaching a particular segment of the business community in a specific skill set (she asked me not to be too specific; her niche is unique enough that you might know her). She's done phenomenally well these last few years, garnering the kind of national recognition and press that most of us only dream about.
And she's about to radically change her business, from a coaching one-on-one format to a product -oriented business (ebooks, DVDs, etc.). Why? Because it's become too much for her to do alone. The administration of her business – which she freely admits she hates to deal with – has swamped her and exhausted her.
I asked, of course, if she couldn't hire someone to do the admin side. She said yes but said it would take too long to find them, bring them up to speed with her policies and procedures, and transition the work from her to them. She was too tired. It was too late.
4. I had a friend visiting from out of state this weekend. She's a newlywed and we talked about the things old married ladies talk about with newlyweds. We talked about family relationships in general, including some grousing about my sisters with whom I'm having a disagreement about plans for the holidays (yes, already). We also talked about the grief of my mother's increasing dementia. And I was quick to say I could never manage to care for my mom the way she deserves if it was just me. I give thanks that I am one of several siblings and don't have to go this road alone.
By now, you've caught the theme I'm sure. So many of us work, effectively, alone. We have our private practice or we work for someone else as the only MT in their office. Even if we work in a multi-therapist practice, as independent contractors we are still responsible for our own business. That's certainly my massage practice. It's me and only me every day. And, yes, it gets lonely.
We need friends, partners, associates, companions along the way. We need other MTs especially. They are the only ones out there that can get us all the way. I'm blessed with membership in a small but supportive chapter (Washington DC) of the American Massage Therapy Association. While our quarterly chapter meetings can be quite small, we have a listserve that keeps us all up-to-date and connected. You can put almost any question out there and someone will have something to help you.
I'm also active in two groups on Facebook – one for my school (PMTI) and one for massage therapists in general. The conversations are lively, the posts are interesting, and the information and perspectives shared are worth the time it takes to keep up with them.
I belong to a small study group that's taking a year to work through Lynn Grodzki's “Twelve Months To Your Ideal Practice”. We have study-buddies we talk to every week just to keep each other on track. Love these women!
How alone are you? Where can you find connections and support on your journey as a healing arts practitioner? Nothing good comes from being alone too long!
No comments:
Post a Comment