You Matter, From Beginning To End

About 1-1/2 years ago I joined a family support group. My mother had dementia which was steadily advancing. The assisted living facility offered the monthly group and I have attended regularly, through her death and beyond. This despite the fact that the 1-hour meeting effectively takes 3 hours out of the middle of my day. The group, though quite small, has been good for me.

When I showed up for the January meeting, no one was there. I waited a bit and then went to talk to the front desk. After much hunting on their part and mine we found the small notice that (1) the group was now being led by someone different and (2) it had moved to a different day of the month.

I was angry, disappointed, but mostly I felt betrayed. By offering this group and holding it regularly they'd invited me into a space where I could be vulnerable. Where I could take my hurts and be open about the trials and tribulations of my life.

I'd been preparing myself emotionally for the group, taken the time out of my workday, and driven the 25 miles to get there. Now, I felt abandoned. Insignificant. Tossed aside. And hurt. It hurt.

Not, you'll notice, by anything that happened in the treatment room but by what happened with their scheduling and their communication.

It's easy to think of these things as separate from the "real" work and a minor inconvenience. However, the more someone creates a space where a person can be vulnerable, the more every aspect of the relationship -- including mundane things like logistics and emails -- matters. Every interaction in the relationship becomes part of the therapy.

You've probably figured out where I'm going with this. If not, let me spell it out.

The things you do to "run" your practice, those mundane (even annoying) activities like scheduling and emails are part and parcel of the therapeutic relationship you have with your client. They are all part of you to the client.

You serve your clients best when you apply your highest values and your very best self to what happens in the massage room and what happens outside the massage room. Yes, even your business practices matter.

Because if you are doing your job well, you are creating space for vulnerability and thereby for healing. Do it well -- all of it --and with compassion.