Getting Too Close

I'm at the end of my 2nd week back to massage (one more client!). Most things have come back to me with practice but I have one problem that's going to take more practice.

I've often joked that "bodies talk to me". What I mean is that I have the ability to open my senses up to a clients body while they are on my table and "read" their tissue, to a certain extent. I can get a sensation of "tight" or "open" or "weak" or "congested" or even "happy" or "angry". This doesn't usually tell me anything personal about the client but it does help guide me in my work.

But I am remembering how much it takes out of me too. I feel all these things -- tight, open, weak, etc. -- in my own body. That's just how it works for me (it's a form of empathy). Unfortunately, it tends to drain my own energies and after two sessions I can be more run-down than I should be. That kind of fatigue can lead to compromised judgement (as is always true with fatigue) and it can lead to over-eating (in an attempt to re-charge myself).

I think this has always been a challenge for me but I've gotten better at recognizing when things are happening to me, energetically, in the last few years and especially in the last year. So now I recognize it faster but I have to re-learn the practices of energetic self-care! I know what to do but I've gotten far too casual in actually doing the things I need to do.

It's like trying to go for a jog when you haven't run in a year. You certainly remember how to do it but it may take a while to get good at it again!

I suspect this will be my biggest challenge in the months to come.