I have been delaying responding to two emails. It's embarassing how long I've been avoiding them. A week at least.
It's illogical -- these emails are from people I have invited to come to DC and lead workshops under the auspices of The Healing Core, my new training company partnership with Kitty Southworth. I want them to come and teach workshops, both for the knowledge they will share and because this is how our training company makes money!
So, why the email avoidance? Because the emails are to finalize our contracts with them. And all of a sudden I'm asking myself "who the heck am I to be entering into these contracts??". All of a sudden, I've got a bad case of self-doubt.
It's even more illogical because I've done this before! I've sponsored people before (including one of the women I'm avoiding!). But it was never so official before. I'm saying to these women "trust me, I can make this happen, I know what I'm doing" and they're going to clear time on their schedules and buy plane tickets based on my word alone.
Oh.....dear.
Yes, I can do this (more specifically, Kitty and I can do this together). But I (we) are taking ourselves out on a limb, we are pushing ourselves into new roles and responsibilities. We've laid all the groundwork so this really should work.
Still. Oh.....dear.
It's damned tough sometimes to really accept ourselves as business owners, even when we know better. If we're open to new opportunities, we will find ourselves doing things that bring up self-doubt, that stir up our insecurities. We've all got them.
But I did, just now, respond to the emails. I've taken that step and fulfilled my responsibilities. I'm going to do everything I can to make these workshops work. Despite my quivering duodenum.
So, when you've got the self-doubts and/or quivering duodenum, know that you're not alone!
Speaking of workshops.....
March 30 - April 1: Create Quality Continuing Education. If you've got something you want to teach (or even something you're already teaching) this workshop will help you design your workshop for the greatest student experience. Don't just do education, do it really well. Rockville MD
May 19 - 20: Taxes & Bookkeeping for the Healing Arts Professional. Learn how to fill out your tax returns to your greatest benefit, understand quarterly taxes, and be smart about the day-to-day "deductions" decisions you make as a business owner. Rockville MD
Energy 101: A Comprehensive Unified Introduction to the Energetic Body
July 14 - 16: Norman OK
July 20 - 22: Denver CO
September 7 - 9: Washington DC
Understand how your energtic body is put together, how you are living in it, how it interacts with other energetic bodies, and how it matters in the larger world.
August 12: One Year To A Successful Massage Therapy Practice. Learn all the ins and outs of successfully marketing your massage practice in a way that is consistent with your values, time, energy, and income. Ashton MD
Oh no you don't...no way you are going to get away with "...know you are not alone".
ReplyDeleteYour final statement should be the "...I've taken the step..." statement, because that is the critical one. No one has wasted more time on self doubt than I have in the past 25 years. And in all that time, the only thing that has helped me survive and flourish as a massage therapist has been 'getting up one more time than I've fallen down'....'taking the first step after the exhausting period of stillness'. The only failure here would be to give in, to quit, to refuse to admit that I'm not the most bestest at this I could be. But you know what.... I AM ENOUGH, and then just do the little things, the thing I'm avoiding. Baby steps...that's all this is.
Have a nice day!!!
You are soooo right!
ReplyDeleteI will say, though, that when I worked alone I was convinced that everyone else was having this wildly successful practice and I was the only one with challenges, an empty schedule, lack of confidence, etc. (it didn't help that my primary MT contact was Kitty, who just sailed out of the gate like some kind of freakin' thoroughbred!).
I want people to know that even after 12 years, even as a teacher, I still can be plagued by self-doubt. It's always a possibility.
But the getting up and taking at least one step is the solution.