I spoke up. OK, technically I grunted.

I had an amazing massage experience last week.

I was in Alexandria LA visiting a friend who is in prison. After the visit, I needed a massage. Went to the AMTA Find A Therapist site. Found Charles Randall Monk. Liked what I saw. Booked an appointment.

I did something I don't normally do -- I let him know I was a massage therapist. We spent about 30 minutes in conversation before the session. Some of it talking shop (of course). Some of it talking about what brought us to massage. A good chunk of it talking about why I was there and what I needed from the session.

During the session, there were a number of times when the work hit a "hot spot" that was painful. I found it easy to speak up (OK, let me be more specific, I grunted). Charles responded immediately and appropriately. He's quite good at discerning the difference between a "oooooh goooooood" grunt and a "owwwwwww, too much" grunt".

So, why was it easier to speak up last week then it was 3 weeks ago? When I sat quietly with that I realized: because we'd taken the time to establish a personal connection.

During the intake, Charles took the time to really listen to me, to all of me, and to show that he was listening. Because I felt that I'd been heard and understood, I was much more comfortable speaking up / grunting when I needed to.

Every intake does not have to be 30 minutes long. Every intake does have to be structured in a way that both parties feel heard, truly heard. We have to establish a connection. That requires more than just "what hurts; ok I'll work on that".

We don't have to establish permanent long-term heart connections that will endure through the ages. We do have to establish the kind of personal connections that let that other person know that we are truly present for them and that we are honestly listening before, during, and after the session.

It will make a difference.

p.s. It was a 2 hour session, which was so wonderful. And he charges a flat rate! He's got a fascinating business model. I'll be writing more about that soon.